I’m going through a particularly rough patch right now. If you know me at all, you know it’s rare I get candid about my personal life. The fact that I’m posting this is already uncharacteristic of my usual social “norms”. It’s not that I’m harboring any deep, dark secrets or anything, I just often feel too proud or shameful to “unload issues” onto my friends for fear of being a burden or “making waves.” In friendships, I’m usually the one who talks the other through their hitches, gives advice, and thoroughly enjoys doing so.
This week, I came to the revelation that I know who the love of my life is and conversely that I may have lost my chances with her. Now at my “shamefully weakest” I began answering the casual “how are you?” between friends, old and new, with the truth: “Not so good.” Inhibitions down, I spill my guts a bit and something funny happens: whether I’ve known you since forever ago or February, you all respond the same way. While I’m sheepishly compensating for the gravity and long-windedness of my predicament (my go-to phrase is “anyway, sorry to piss in your ear…”), you guys (and gals), some of whom I’ve never spoken to so honestly with before, encourage me to “keep going”. And so I follow my rant through, you tell me the stuff I need to hear (“everything’s gonna be fine,” “it’ll all work out in the end,” “you’re a good person,” - and if you know me well enough - to “quit moping!”) and before I know it, that painfully uneasy feeling I had in my stomach when I initially tugged on your pant leg is gone.
So this is a thank you to those of you who’ve given me some much-needed support through my hardest week. Though I’ve thanked you one-on-one (you know who you are), let this be a “public” testament to how proud I am of our friendship and how privileged I feel to be worthy of your much-needed time and advice. The least I could do is the same for you, happily, any time.
The moral here is simply that friendship is about give and take. It’s okay to ask friends for advice, insight, guidance - whatever you need, really, so long as you return the favor sometime. Strangely, I feel like I’m just discovering this as if it’s some sort of fad. But that’s what they’re there for, friends.
One more thing and then I’ll stop pissing in your ear. If you’re ever feeling down and your buddy asks how you’re doing? Tell em.